The Internet...
...blows muffin tops. Seriously, is it just me or did the web turn into the arm pit hairy anus of the world? I remember when it used to be easy to find good shit online. I got broadband in 1997, folks, and the web instantly became the coolest thing in my eyes. I could turn on the 'puter and have the latest music or warez ten minutes later. There was no such thing as online advertising and popups were all porn related. Lycos and Webcrawler were the shit, and Prodigy sucked my ass hole clean. Now it seems like every time I need to figure out how to do something clever in PHP or find a part for my Ninja I get to see news feeds about why stupid people hate Bush or some idiot podcaster.
Wasn't Google supposed to be the best search engine ever? Aren't they supposed to be "not evil?" Well, folks, you can thank them for turning the web into a spaghetti bowl full of scumbag sales people and identity theives. Hell, I remember the day I found out about Poogle. I was talking with my buddy Angel and he mentioned this new search engine that was way better than ... oh whatever the hell that .edu one was that we were using at the time. It didn't have any ads unlike Lycos, and it always returned good results unlike AltaVista. Fuck you, Angel, you fucking cock. You Goo pusher, you. I hate those gawd damned spooks. For any of you who don't bother to read below the surface, it might surprise you to learn that Google is basically the new Micro$oft. Only about a hundred times shadier. If you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, take a look at google-watch.org. I had already stopped using Goople as a primary search engine about a year ago when I switched to Ask.com and Yahoo.com. I would use Spoogle if I didn't get enough results from the other two. Now, however, there is Nofa King way I'm using those commie bastards. I block all Choogle cookies, scripts, and ads at the firewall level. If you think I'm being a paranoid bitch then you definitely don't know shit about the 'net or computer technology in general and I don't have the time to educate your silly ass.
I was going to start griping about punk ass bloggers too, but I need to take a hearty dump so I'll save that for later.
Where The Hell?
In case anyone was wondering why Haterade was down for so long you can blame it on my old web host Acenet, Inc. Those guys are by far the worst hosting company on the planet. It all started around May of 2006 when I decide to check in and see if anyone is still posting. Much to my surprise I get nothing but database errors. So I log in to see what the error is and it turns out the database was hosed. Somehow these cock suckers managed to destroy my db during "routine maintenance."
I pick up the phone and call these idiots and say, "Yeah, my database is hosed." The guy asks me how I know this and I tell him that I know it because when I try to do a SELECT or even a DESC on any of my tables I get an error 'MYD not found.' Then the ass hole tells me they no longer offer technical support over the phone and I have to contact them online. So we get into this argument about how their website says 24/7 Technical Support and gives their phone number and I end up calling him a dumb fuck and hanging up on him.
So I get online and open a trouble ticket on their piece of shit site and commence to argue with a new ass head via some retarded ticket forum system with a good 30-60 minutes between replies. The end result of all these shenanigans is some sub-moronic fuck hosed and entire server of customers' websites and they don't do nightly back-ups regardless of what their website states. I guess it's a good thing I do make regular back-ups. So I tell him, "Thanks for being completely useless," and close out the trouble ticket.
So now I'm all good and pissed and I cancel my hosting account as well as send them an email for good measure. I get an email reply asking if they can offer me a deal to keep my business. I reply with a, "No thanks, Hoss, I like my websites to work." A few months go by and I think all is well when I get an email saying my account is suspended for failure to pay (I froze the card number for the Discover card I used). I kinda laughed to myself and replied, "I don't really care because I already canceled this account and you shouldn't be attempting to charge me, ass hole." I never hear back from them. I do, however, get a statement from Discover that has a new charge from this fucking web hosting company! I'll get into the whole deal with Discover in another post, but for now here is the resolution to this whole fiasco:
Posted on 23 Feb 2007 06:11 PM
I canceled your service in May of 2006 via email yet you continued to bill me. I contacted Discovercard to issue a chargeback yet you are currently fighting the chargeback. I have emails from your support desk which prove you DO have email support. If you do not refund my money I will gladly take you to small claims court for the piddly $60 just to cost your representatives the expense of travel and a day's work. If I do not receive a response to this by the end of the day Monday, February 26, 2006 I will begin the process to take you to court.
MY NAME
MY PHONE NUMBER
MY EMAIL ADDRESS
Jerald D.
Posted on 24 Feb 2007 09:36 AM
Acenet has NEVER offered email support, EVER!
When you create a ticket or when we respond to a ticket, you get emailed, but you cannot contact Acenet by email. Further, you will find no email address listed anywhere on our website.
The language of the User Agreement is very clear, I strongly suggest reviewing it:
http://ace-host.net/terms.html
If you did not want your account to renew, you simply needed to cancel it via our online system. Specific cancellation instructions are located in our knowledgebase and clearly stated in the User Agreement. If you logged a ticket, an employee of Acenet would have provided you with clear instructions and assisted every step of the way.
Invoking a chargeback was wrong, period.
Please consult with an attorney before further antagonizing us with legal threats.
- Jerald D.
Executive Manager
ME
Posted on 25 Feb 2007 05:40 PM
My auto-renew "feature" had been turned off since the day your database crashed and I lost over 5 months of transactions. I cancelled my account by responding to an email YOUR support center sent to me. It stated that my account was expiring soon and unless I renewed would be cancelled unless I RENEWED MANUALLY. I responded to that email and explained that I was unhappy with your lack of sercvice and would NOT be renewing my account. The matter should have ended there, but as hundreds of your other "customers" have found out that's not how your company works. I have collected hundreds of complaints about this very same thing on several web hosting forums. It seems you may soon have a class action lawsuit on your hands. But I digress...
What I would like ot know is what is a "customer" supposed to do if he does not have access to the internet, or to your page specifically? You have no right to decide what hoops people must jump through to prevent you from charging their credit cards without authorization. Also, I have no need for a lawyer since this will be handled in small claims court. If your company is in such a bad position financially you should declare bankruptcy, not steal from your "customers." I guess I will have no choice but to take legal action.
Jerald D.
Posted on 27 Feb 2007 04:33 PM
MY NAME,
How to cancel is clearly stated in the language of the User Ageement.
When you signed up, you agreed to the User Agreement.
"It stated that my account was expiring soon and unless I renewed would be cancelled unless I RENEWED MANUALLY."
I would like to see that email, forward it to me at jbdarow@ace-host.net. I am willing to bet you cannot produce such an email. As stated in the User Agreement, all accounts automatically renew until cancelled. We would never tell anyone otherwise.
Please review the User Agreement.
http://ace-host.net/terms.html
Your legal threats are frivolous. Acenet has thousdands of satisfied customers.
- Jerald D.
Executive Manager
Jerald D.
Posted on 27 Feb 2007 04:46 PM
Acenet does not provide support via any email address. Though, if you reply to one of our automated system emails, you should receive either (1) an error message or (2) an auto-response stating you should submit a ticket via our helpdesk. I am having our technical manager confirm these autoresponders are in place.
- Jerald D.
Executive Manager
ME
Posted on 27 Feb 2007 05:39 PM
First of all, I would like to point out that you haven't answered any of my questions: how does one cancel if a) they can not connect to the internet, b) your website is down, or c) your crappy system bills them anyway (which I have read happens quite a lot).
Now on to my response. So, you'd really be willing to bet I don't have that email? How much? $60 perhaps? Will you shake on that? As I said I had already cancelled because you lost my database, hence the "auto-renew off" comment. And my "threats" aren't threats, they're ultimatums. I find it humorous that you to take what I say as a threat when you stole my money. Finally, while you allegedly have "...thousands of satisfied customers," it doesn't take more than three minutes to find hundreds of (very) unsatisfied customers.
I would like to know how you will be sending the refund once I forward that email. I'll send it to you as soon as I get in front of that computer (or after you answer my question, whichever comes last).
Jerald D.
Posted on 27 Feb 2007 06:21 PM
"It stated that my account was expiring soon and unless I renewed would be cancelled unless I RENEWED MANUALLY."
Forward me that email and I'll refund every penny you paid out of my own pocket.
Bottom Line: If you cancel properly, you will not be billed. The only way to be billed is by not cancelling.
You may find a few unhappy customers like yourself that failed to properly cancel their account, but it is nowhere close to hundreds. Further, I have no respect for someone who issues a chargeback after failing to properly cancel their account.
Again, all you had to do was cancel your account as stated in the User Agreement. If you did not have internet access, you could have called our sales department and they would have help you out.
- Jerald D.
Executive Manager
ME
Posted on 27 Feb 2007 06:29 PM
Wow, really? It states that phone cancellation is not honored. A business can not decide that a particular method of stopping charges is invalid. Especially if they invalidate so many that there is only one "acceptable" method that is inconvenient, impractical, and many times impossible to comply with.
And yes, I have HUNDREDS of complaints for at least a dozen forums bookmarked. Some include screen shots of their cPanel showing that their auto-renew was off. It sounds to me like either your system is broken or you are perpetuating a crime.
Anyway, I'll forward you the email stating that my account will not be renewed unless further action is taken. Then I will expect my refund in full.
Jerald D.
Posted on 27 Feb 2007 07:13 PM
email it to me at jbdarow@ace-host.net
Beyond that, I don't see a need to keep repeating myself.
- Jerald D.
Executive Manager
ME
Posted on 28 Feb 2007 01:26 AM
The email has been sent.
MY NAME
ME
Posted on 28 Feb 2007 12:14 PM
The typical trailer trash response I expected. That came directly out of my backed up mailbox, but even if the pope was in front of you with 3 print-outs and a video tape you'd still claim forgery because that's what you're trained and expected to do. And how and why would I forge an email?
----------------------------------------------------------
Jerald D. wrote:
That email is forged.
----- Original Message -----
From: "MY NAME"
To:
Cc:
Sent: Wednesday, February 28, 2007 1:25 AM
Subject: [HFD-86155]: REFUND DEMANDED
> Here is the requested email notification extracted from my Thunderbird
> inbox flat file. You can send a check or money order in the amount of
> $59.40 to:
> MY NAME
> MY ADDRESS
>
> MY NAME
>
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Received: from global.ace-host.net ([216.180.250.162])
> by sccrmxc14.comcast.net (sccrmxc14) with ESMTP
> id ; Sat, 15 Aug 2006 04:05:38 +0000
> X-Originating-IP: [216.180.250.162]
> To: "MY NAME"
> Subject: ACENET INC :: Account Cancellation
> From: Acenet Inc
> Date: Sat, 15 Aug 2006 00:05:25 -0400
> X-AntiAbuse: This header was added to track abuse, please include it with any abuse report
> X-AntiAbuse: Primary Hostname - global.ace-host.net
> X-AntiAbuse: Original Domain - comcast.net
> X-AntiAbuse: Originator/Caller UID/GID - [32003 506] / [47 12]
> X-AntiAbuse: Sender Address Domain - ace-host.net
> X-Source:
> X-Source-Args:
> X-Source-Dir:
> Mime-Version: 1.0
> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8
>
> Dear Valued Client,
>
> This email is to remind you that unless further action is taken your account will expire 08/17/2006. To prevent a disruption in service please use your cPanel to renew your account on or before this date.
>
> Total Due: $59.40
> Due Date: 08/17/2006
>
> You may login to view your invoice(s) online here:
> https://ace-host.net/mb/
>
> Phone Number: 734-272-4210
>
> Online helpdesk:
>
> http://ace-host.net/helpdesk/
>
> Thank you,
>
> Billing Dept.
> ACENET INC
>
> Date: 08/15/2006
>
Jason D
Posted on 28 Feb 2007 06:12 PM
Hello,
Much of the email you sent is actually stuff we send to clients about renewal. I am not completely sure that all of the content is exactly as we sent it.
Regardless, based on the email you posted in the form that you posted it in, I do not see a legitimate claim for a refund.
The email states that the account will expire, but does not state that you are no longer bound by our terms of service, nor does it say that the plan will not automatically renew after it expires.
- Jason D.
Executive Manager
ME
Posted on 28 Feb 2007 06:55 PM
First off, the subject of the email clearly states "Account Cancellation." That tends to mean that the account has been cancelled. In any language "Unless further action is taken" means unless I do something other than what is currently so. It also states that if I don't take action "... a disruption in service..." will occur and my account will not renew ("...use cPanel to RENEW your account"). It is obvious, even to the most retarded boot-licker, that auto-renew has been disabled.
First you say the email is a forgery, then you attempt to say that the wording doesn't spell cancellation (even though the subject says it does). You have obviously used up all of your support scripts to not grant a refund, even after you said you would gladly give me a refund if you saw the cancellation notification. To tell you the truth I'm not surprised that a company that steals would also train its subordinates to lie.
ME
Posted on 02 Mar 2007 01:13 PM
Wow, a whole day without a response. Way to uphold the whole scumbag persona of the company, Jay. Obviously you're useless so I would like you to escalate this ticket to someone who is not a placeholder for progress.
Jerald D.
Posted on 12 Mar 2007 07:40 AM
Hello MY NAME,
We are happy to give you a refund if you can site a support ticket where you expressed a wish to cancel prior to the renewal date. To touch on the email one last time, our terms are the binding contract and clearly state cancellation instructions. Nothing else is relevant. However, as I stated above, I'm more than happy to refund you if you can clearly show your intent to cancel was documented in a support ticket prior to the renewal date.
- Jason D.
Executive Manager
ME
Posted on 20 Mar 2007 01:22 PM
[chuckle] You guys are pathetic. Actually, I just wanted to make you scumbags work for the $60, and since you obviously don't get paid much I had to drag it out to as many tickets as possible. At least now all the Web-Hosting forums will see what kind of lying thieves run Ace-Host. Enjoy the stagnant sales. :D
The funny thing is I recently got an email from this shit head. Here it is along with my reply:
Thanks
Jason Darow - VP Acenet-Inc
Hi MY NAME,
I'm looking for ways to better serve you.
Do you have any ideas? suggestions? criticisms?
I'm excited to hear back from you.
Sincerely,
Jason Darow
Vice President
Acenet-Inc
Finally, I would like to point out how utterly hilarious it is that the VP of the company is the one answering their tech support tickets. <3
Arise Evil Sun, Stupid Ass Sun
... what? Surprised? Shit, man, I take a break for a year and this is the welcome I get? Not you, I was talking to that punk ass Jesus.
What the cock is going on with this World Wide Whathefuck? I get an email a couple months ago from some wank offering to buy the Haterade.com domain from me. I say, "Hm... ok, make me an offer." He says, "How much do you want for it?" I repeat, "Make me an offer." He says, "How much were you looking for?" So now I'm pissed off right, so I reply with, "$150,000" I guess next time you should make me an offer eh, zippydick? Of course if that anus would have have said OK I would've said, "j/k, deusche. I want $1.7 million." Never mind.
So then I start digging around the web and I find all these weak ass Haterade wannabes. Sad little kids selling t-shirts with a Gatorade bottle on the front and an oddly replaced G and O. A "we've got everything you need" site with the worst possible name. My personal anti-favorite was the Word Press blog by the worst Fight Club fan ever. C'mon, kids. Just stop it already.
Also, I'm sure a few of you perceptive fucks noticed I ditched the old green and Gatored look. I figure I've been around long enough to break away from the novelty sports drink parody, yeah? No? Shuttie! Now run along and click some magic icons to see what the fuck they do, you hateful bitches!